Week 4 of 52 Week Photo Challenge - "PART OF ME"

This is my scar, my consistent reminder of the beautiful life I brought into this world. My third child, my first daughter! This scar will forever be part of me, part of who I've become, part of a journey that is still ongoing. This scar reminds me that time heals all wounds, and that I am strong, I am brave, I am A WOMEN! I also am the one in seven women who suffer from postpartum depression and anxiety disorder. I use to be ashamed, scared I would be judged, scared that people would think I'm going to hurt my kids. This wasn't the case at all, PPD is very common among woman and treatable.

I had PPD with all three of my kids but with my second my PPD was by far the worse. I was numb, crying, anxious, not sleeping, not laughing and not able to enjoy my new bundle, I was not me. I was scared and thought I was alone. I thought my fiancé would not trust me alone with my kids, I thought when my friends hear that they would be disappointed in me. I felt alone and miserable. My anxiety was so bad at night that I never slept, I paced and found any reason to wake my son to make sure he was ok, consistently checking making sure he's breathing and not to hot! At my 6 week check up my doctor noticed me, he noticed my blank stare, the haze that surrounded me, I think I cried my whole appointment. After my Doc talked to me he called my fiancé, let him know what was going on and told him to call if he needed anything! I told my mom and sisters and they didn't judge me... They came and helped me! I started to take medication and went to therapy and a group session, all offered through the hospital.  It was amazing to me the amount of women who felt just like me, it was amazing that I had SO MUCH support behind me! I realized after a few months that I was not alone, I'm not weak, I'm strong, and I'm proud!
With the birth of my third I was told that the likely hood of having PPD again was very high. I embraced it, accepted and began the treatment and therapy while still in hospital. I got ahead of PPD, I kept my chin up and I was not and never will be ashamed. Just like my scar, I won't be scared to show it, it's beautiful and the body behind it is as well.

http://womenshealth.gov/publications/our-publications/fact-sheet/depression-pregnancy.html?from=AtoZ