Let's be honest... WE ALL LOVE BABIES! Especially babies you can give back to their parents! They are cute, we kiss on them, pinch their fat little cheeks and practically smother them. OK, STOP THERE! BACK OFF! Listen, I know how it is... The excitement, the Facebook posts; you want to be at the hospital the moment the baby arrives. Sound like a great idea? IT'S NOT! Stop yourself now. Want to be a great friend?! Follow these simple tips....
- If you already have a child of your own, then you should know better. Shame on you! Unless she's personally asked you to be there when the baby arrives, give your friend a little space. Your friend just pushed a watermelon out of her WHOOHAA! Or even worse, her guts were cut open. GIVE HER A BREAK! Let her settle in. That baby isn't going anywhere and her family and in-laws are already in the room whens she arrives from recovery. She'll love you for giving her space! Text her to ask when a good time to stop by is, either at home or at the hospital. Whenever SHE's ready.
- Want a picture of the baby?! Let's be honest, mama will NOT be taking a picture of anything after she just pushed out a 6lb baby from her body. Text the baby daddy! MEN, THIS IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY! Friend, you will get LOTS of pictures of the baby. I promise! Just NOT THE SECOND the baby arrives. Be PATIENT!
- You want to post adorable pictures of the new baby all over FACEBOOK and TAG mommy & daddy in it?! UMMMM NOOOOOO! NO NO NO NO NO!!!!! THIS IS THEIR DAY! To put it bluntly, if they aren't posting, NEITHER ARE YOU! Let them be the one's to announce their baby when they are ready. It may be the minute the baby is out, or a week later but don't steal their thunder. Let them be the one's to share their excitement. DO NOT post pictures to FACEBOOK without the parent's okay. BOTH PARENTS!
- Don't ask if she needs anything and then sound inconvenienced when she asks you to help. Are you a good friend?! I've had 3 babies of my own and will NEVER show up without something for my new parent friend. Text or call to ask. Seriously.... There is always something! COFFEE? AND NOT THE DAMN HOSPITAL COFFEE! Get her a real coffee! Starbucks PLEASE! And REAL FOOD!
- You want to bring a gift? PLEASE DO NOT BRING MORE CLOTHES! She just had a baby! Do you really think she's going to get to wash clothes in her free time? NO! She's going to be napping! Unless you WASH ALL THE CLOTHES in Dreft before you bring them, don't bring any damn clothes! They'll literally get stashed away in piles of gifts, with tags still in tact and baby will never wear them because mama was just too exhausted taking care of a new life to give any of them a second thought. Your gesture is nice, but the perfect gift is just to ask what is needed. Diapers? Wipes? Formula? Groceries? A Gallon of Milk? Maybe she needs gas drops from the pharmacy! Any little errand you can run for her will be greatly appreciated by any new parent.
- Visiting is fun, but with a new baby many parents rather relax and NAP. Babies for the most part eat every 2-3 hours. They usually have nights and days mixed up in the beginning; which means MOM is working OVERTIME and even though she says she'd love to see you, she's most likely already smothered from guests wanting to come to see the new baby. Want to see the baby?! GREAT! Tell mommy you'll stop by after she feeds the baby (if breast feeding), or ask when a good time is to stop by if bottle feeding. Remind her not to put on regular clothes, or makeup, or worry about doing her hair. It's not needed and remind her that you love her just the same! Let her know that you are coming over to help her out. Put some laundry in the wash, watch the baby while she naps, run to the store for her, clean the bathroom. Whatever she needs... YOU DO IT! HELP HER! She may not flat out say, 'I need help,' but I'm telling you, if you tell her you're going to do something... she's going to let you! GET OUT THAT VACUUM and go to town! BE HER BI*CH for the day!
- You want to stop by for lunch or dinner? SURE, but BRING THE FOOD! Do not expect these sleep deprived, new parents to cook a damn meal! ARE YOU NUTS? Even if they offer, say “NO, I GOT IT, what's your favorite meal?” Bring the meal and if you really want your friend to love you, bring a meal she can freeze. It makes a great gift and it will be much appreciated. Even more so over new, adorable, MUST BUY clothes. The best gift I received after my third baby was my when my friend showed up with pre-cooked meals and things I needed – snacks, diapers!
- DO NOT STARE AT HER ENGORGED BREASTS! DO NOT STARE WHILE SHE'S FEEDING! STARING IS RUDE! Look elsewhere.... The TV, the wall... anywhere else but her boobs!
- If you go to the hospital to visit because the parents already said 'Yes it's okay,' DON'T overstay your welcome, and no taking a million pictures of mom and baby. HELLO?! She's swollen, has no makeup on, has ratty hair and black under her eyes. She's feeling far from glamorous. DEAR LORD, HAVE A LITTLE COMMON SENSE!
- My best is advice is to just be a friend. A normal and good friend. Wash your hands. Ask if she needs anything. Stay away if you are sick. Be kind and help out.
If you follow these simple steps, any new parent will love to have you visit every week!
-xox J
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