Week 4 of 52 Week Photo Challenge - "PART OF ME"

This is my scar, my consistent reminder of the beautiful life I brought into this world. My third child, my first daughter! This scar will forever be part of me, part of who I've become, part of a journey that is still ongoing. This scar reminds me that time heals all wounds, and that I am strong, I am brave, I am A WOMEN! I also am the one in seven women who suffer from postpartum depression and anxiety disorder. I use to be ashamed, scared I would be judged, scared that people would think I'm going to hurt my kids. This wasn't the case at all, PPD is very common among woman and treatable.

I had PPD with all three of my kids but with my second my PPD was by far the worse. I was numb, crying, anxious, not sleeping, not laughing and not able to enjoy my new bundle, I was not me. I was scared and thought I was alone. I thought my fiancé would not trust me alone with my kids, I thought when my friends hear that they would be disappointed in me. I felt alone and miserable. My anxiety was so bad at night that I never slept, I paced and found any reason to wake my son to make sure he was ok, consistently checking making sure he's breathing and not to hot! At my 6 week check up my doctor noticed me, he noticed my blank stare, the haze that surrounded me, I think I cried my whole appointment. After my Doc talked to me he called my fiancé, let him know what was going on and told him to call if he needed anything! I told my mom and sisters and they didn't judge me... They came and helped me! I started to take medication and went to therapy and a group session, all offered through the hospital.  It was amazing to me the amount of women who felt just like me, it was amazing that I had SO MUCH support behind me! I realized after a few months that I was not alone, I'm not weak, I'm strong, and I'm proud!
With the birth of my third I was told that the likely hood of having PPD again was very high. I embraced it, accepted and began the treatment and therapy while still in hospital. I got ahead of PPD, I kept my chin up and I was not and never will be ashamed. Just like my scar, I won't be scared to show it, it's beautiful and the body behind it is as well.

http://womenshealth.gov/publications/our-publications/fact-sheet/depression-pregnancy.html?from=AtoZ

Statuses No One Wants to See on Facebook! (Seriously) #SorryNotSorry

Let's be honest, we all went crazy with posting when Facebook first came out! I know I did! I posted where I was, who I was with, what I was doing and 1,000+ pictures, (of myself). That was 10 years ago and now sometimes some posts become a little excessive. I researched and spoke with random people all ages and came up with a list of posts we are all sick of seeing! Are you guilty? (Secret: I might be too!)

1. The Obvious Weather posts! 

OMG we get it... It's snowing, raining, hailing! It's not the end of the World and it's definitely not needed everyday! This winter I would wake up, look outside, see snow and know DO NOT GO ON FACEBOOK! If you don't like the Chicago weather... Move! Period!

2. Your Exact Location.

I get it, if you go somewhere and tag your friends and you HERE AND THERE, but realistically no one cares that you went to 12 bars with 15 people in one night! You're cool... Not! My thought is if you have enough time to post everywhere you go and who you're with you are not having that great of a time! 

3. The "I Have the Best Hubby/BF" post (everyday)! 

I post about my fiance being a great dad on Father's Day and on random days when I feel like it randomly BUT posting everyday NON STOP... Your relationship is more than likely not that great if you have to consistently post on Facebook and remind yourself how wonderful, loving, caring your significant other is! Listen, sharing on Favebook isn't going to fix your problems... Communicating with your partner is more important than lying to the whole world! 

4. Selfies... Everyday... Enough!

I actually enjoy looking at friends pictures, their new babies, a special moment in their life, a new haircut, etc., but when you are consistently posting pictures of yourself everyday, all day ... You are conceded! Get over yourself and please stop posting your #perfect #selfie. 

5. #HASHTAGS

This girl is guilty, all around! I get it, it can be a bit excessive... But there's a reason for hashtags! If you don't get it, you won't get it but it's great to see what's trending and get your posts out there to the public! Sorry, not sorry! #hashtags are in! 

6. Pictures of Your Meals.
MMMM WOW you cooked dinner... good for you! MMM that steak you made looks DELISH. Thanks for making me hungry! I didn't sign up for Facebook to get a million and one pictures of food you made. Share a recipe... yes please! Share everything you cook/bake, seriously I'd rather see another #Selfie! ** This in no way directed to the small business owners who make cookies, cakes, etc. for their clients, it is your job to share and advertise your goodies! Share away please!**

7. In A Relationship... Oh wait Nope not anymore....
It's Complicated, it's on or off.... really no one needs to know that you and your GF or BF broke up over the weekend and are now back together.  No one cares if it's complicated either! Either it's on or it's off and if it's off then it's NOT MEANT TO BE! Seriously, save yourself years... if you break up on Facebook more than the days in the week, it's NOT meant to be! Move on please.

8. Your Drama! 
Seriously, it's OK to rant and rave here and there to your friends. But if you are going to consistently BITCH on Facebook or Social Media (Sorry if that word offends anyone) and be negative - stop and think to yourself how that makes you look.  No one wants to here that you and your GF/BF/BFF got into a fight over something so ignorant and petty. Reading stupid crap like that on Facebook just makes me want to bash my head in my keyboard and then DELETE YOU! Work out your issues with that person NOT on Facebook! PERIOD.

9. You Make Thousands of Dollars.
Congrats! You have a GREAT job! That is something to be very proud of! You got a promotion YAY! You're making six figures and are buying yourself a brand new Lambo.... NO ONE CARES YOU ARROGANT A*S!  It's not all about money ok, I know we need money to live but I don't as your friend need to know how much you make to be your friend. Your personal finances are that... personal and should be kept that way. No one wants to hang out with someone always bragging about how much money they have or make.  

10. Your Kids Are Such Brats.
This is my BIGGEST pet peeve. I am lucky and blessed enough to have three children. Even though sometimes I'm frustrated, and upset because lets face it not one kid is perfect and well behaved every single day, I don't go on my Facebook and let my friends know what a pain in the butt my children are being and how I would love to "ship them off" or whatever! STOP AND THINK... how many of your friends or people who see your status CAN NOT have children.  How they see your status complaining about a child YOU choose to have and were LUCKY enough to have and they can't.  How they look at that and think, JEZZZ you are complaining about your "bratty" kids, I WISH I could complain about that.  Before you post these nagging, inappropriate posts about your children, step back and think to yourself how EXTREMELY lucky you are to have children.

With all that said I guess we all just need to be a little more cautious of what we post and how many times we post it.  Continual posts are usually the most annoying, always posting where you are and what your doing 7 times a day is usually a sign of TO MUCH social media!  I understand Facebook and what it is for... I LOVE seeing pictures of my family and friends kids, families, beach house, vacations, new babies, and I love hearing GOOD HAPPY NEWS like NEW BABY, WE ARE ENGAGED, I'm CANCER FREE! All positive posts ARE WELCOME.  

"Seek to be WHOLE, not perfect!" -OW

xoxo <3 J

Week 1 : Self Portrait

self-por·trait

noun

1. 1.

   a portrait of an artist produced or created by that artist. (Found on google.com).

   
   

   
   

   After I post this portrait I expect you all to laugh. I'm what I like to think a funny person.  I'm a multi-tasker, 29 year old (soon to be 30), mother of three (young children under 4 years of age). I'm ADDICTED to coffee (prefer Starbucks) but will settle for my regular cup with flavored creamer and 4 sweet n lows. I love art, reading blogs, fashion, shopping (online mostly), googling, the color pink, having a million and one projects going at once, buying something because I have a coupon (this gets me in trouble...), Michaels, GLITTER, samples (I'm part of Birchbox), dancing in the rain (let's be realistic no one does that, I dance in the shower), Facebook, calling my family (sometimes I think they get annoyed but I love to talk to them, it's refreshing), my kids and taking their pictures (mostly posing them like what I find on Pinterest), hand-sanitzer, lip gloss (no preference as long as it's a shade of nude/pink), Victoria Secret's underwear (ONLY), leggings and yoga pants. That's just to name a few.

   

   
   

   So, this is ME! This is how I see myself. NOT GLAMMED UP, always drinking coffee in my favorite pink mug. That brown stuff on my face is a mud mask, I was trying (it was a sample from my Birchbox). I'm very RAW, and to the point. There was a point in my life that I  wouldn't leave the house without makeup on or without my hair done and definitely would never leave in yoga pants. Oh how times have changed. Now I don't leave the house WITH makeup on, and I could careless. After 3 babies, I now see the beauty in myself.  I'm a mom and have a fiancé who loves me.  I don't care if my hairs a mess and my eyeliner is under my eyes or mascara running, it's who I am now. My saggy breasts, scar on my tummy, weird looking belly button, stretch marks and love handles are me right now. I feel good in a sweater and leggings or yoga pants, I'm pretty sure there is NO ONE at Jewel I need to impress. Laugh all you want but when it comes down to it, the stain on my shirt or sideway ponytail or mascara running down my face, tell my story.  The stain on my shirt is from my 18 month old hugging me with his messy Cheetos fingers, and my sideway pony is because I was having a dance party with my 4 year old (Florida Georgia Line on repeat please). The mascara well that could be a lot of things, maybe my boys hugged me and made me feel so wonderful to be blessed to be their mommy, or Avri is growing so fast and I just want my last baby to stay a baby, or maybe the mascara is because I was laughing so hard with my kids because we were having such a fabulous day.  Whatever the reason, it's my reason and if I'm ok with it then that's all that matters.  Mud mask and all, that's who I am.

   
   

   Who are you? I challenge you to take a #selfie of yourself and who you are. Post it as your Facebook profile picture, or Twitter picture. Put it everywhere for everyone to see. Be proud. That is who YOU are!

   
   

   xoxo -J

So Your Friend's Having a Baby!

Let's be honest...  WE ALL LOVE BABIES!  Especially babies you can give back to their parents!  They are cute, we kiss on them, pinch their fat little cheeks and practically smother them.  OK, STOP THERE!  BACK OFF!  Listen, I know how it is...  The excitement, the Facebook posts; you want to be at the hospital the moment the baby arrives.  Sound like a great idea?  IT'S NOT!  Stop yourself now.  Want to be a great friend?!  Follow these simple tips.... 

• If you already have a child of your own, then you should know better.  Shame on you!  Unless she's personally asked you to be there when the baby arrives, give your friend a little space.  Your friend just pushed a watermelon out of her WHOOHAA!  Or even worse, her guts were cut open.  GIVE HER A BREAK!  Let her settle in. That baby isn't going anywhere and her family and in-laws are already in the room whens she arrives from recovery.  She'll love you for giving her space!  Text her to ask when a good time to stop by is, either at home or at the hospital. Whenever SHE's ready.
• Want a picture of the baby?!  Let's be honest, mama will NOT be taking a picture of anything after she just pushed out a 6lb baby from her body.  Text the baby daddy!  MEN, THIS IS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY!  Friend, you will get LOTS of pictures of the baby.  I promise!  Just NOT THE SECOND the baby arrives.  Be PATIENT!

• You want to post adorable pictures of the new baby all over FACEBOOK and TAG mommy & daddy in it?! UMMMM NOOOOOO!  NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!  THIS IS THEIR DAY!  To put it bluntly, if they aren't posting, NEITHER ARE YOU!  Let them be the one's to announce their baby when they are ready.  It may be the minute the baby is out, or a week later but don't steal their thunder.  Let them be the one's to share their excitement.  DO NOT post pictures to FACEBOOK without the parent's okay.  BOTH PARENTS!

• Don't ask if she needs anything and then sound inconvenienced when she asks you to help.  Are you a good friend?!  I've had 3 babies of my own and will NEVER show up without something for my new parent friend. Text or call to ask.  Seriously....  There is always something!  COFFEE? AND NOT THE DAMN HOSPITAL COFFEE! Get her a real coffee!  Starbucks PLEASE!  And REAL FOOD!

• You want to bring a gift?  PLEASE DO NOT BRING MORE CLOTHES!  She just had a baby!  Do you really think she's going to get to wash clothes in her free time?  NO!  She's going to be napping!  Unless you WASH ALL THE CLOTHES in Dreft before you bring them, don't bring any damn clothes!  They'll literally get stashed away in piles of gifts, with tags still in tact and baby will never wear them because mama was just too exhausted taking care of a new life to give any of them a second thought.  Your gesture is nice, but the perfect gift is just to ask what is needed.  Diapers?  Wipes?  Formula?  Groceries?  A Gallon of Milk?  Maybe she needs gas drops from the pharmacy!  Any little errand you can run for her will be greatly appreciated by any new parent.    

• Visiting is fun, but with a new baby many parents rather relax and NAP.  Babies for the most part eat every 2-3 hours.  They usually have nights and days mixed up in the beginning; which means MOM is working OVERTIME and even though she says she'd love to see you, she's most likely already smothered from guests wanting to come to see the new baby.  Want to see the baby?!  GREAT!  Tell mommy you'll stop by after she feeds the baby (if breast feeding), or ask when a good time is to stop by if bottle feeding.  Remind her not to put on regular clothes, or makeup, or worry about doing her hair.  It's not needed and remind her that you love her just the same!  Let her know that you are coming over to help her out.  Put some laundry in the wash, watch the baby while she naps, run to the store for her, clean the bathroom.  Whatever she needs... YOU DO IT!  HELP HER!  She may not flat out say, 'I need help,' but I'm telling you, if you tell her you're going to do something... she's going to let you!  GET OUT THAT VACUUM and go to town!  BE HER BI*CH for the day!

• You want to stop by for lunch or dinner?  SURE, but BRING THE FOOD!  Do not expect these sleep deprived, new parents to cook a damn meal!  ARE YOU NUTS?  Even if they offer, say “NO, I GOT IT, what's your favorite meal?”  Bring the meal and if you really want your friend to love you, bring a meal she can freeze.  It makes a great gift and it will be much appreciated.  Even more so over new, adorable, MUST BUY clothes.  The best gift I received after my third baby was my when my friend showed up with pre-cooked meals and things I needed – snacks, diapers!

• DO NOT STARE AT HER ENGORGED BREASTS!  DO NOT STARE WHILE SHE'S FEEDING!  STARING IS RUDE! Look elsewhere....  The TV, the wall... anywhere else but her boobs!

• If you go to the hospital to visit because the parents already said 'Yes it's okay,' DON'T overstay your welcome, and no taking a million pictures of mom and baby.  HELLO?!  She's swollen, has no makeup on, has ratty hair and black under her eyes.  She's feeling far from glamorous.  DEAR LORD, HAVE A LITTLE COMMON SENSE!

• My best is advice is to just be a friend.  A normal and good friend.  Wash your hands.  Ask if she needs anything.  Stay away if you are sick.  Be kind and help out.

If you follow these simple steps, any new parent will love to have you visit every week!  

-xox J 

Bring it on 2014!

So here it is... the BIG COUNTDOWN... has come and gone. The New Year always brings a FRESH START. This year I've decided to make my resolutions a little bit more "realistic."  1. Focus on Blogging more... I actually made a calendar. I can't wait! 2. I want to drink 8 glasses of water a day. 3. Walk twice a week. 4. Complete and Blog on a 52 WEEK PHOTO CHALLENGE! ( Week one : SELFIE!) 5. Get Organized. ( with three kids it seems impossible)  Those are my top five. I got about 15 MORE to do but they are silly personal ones... you know stop bit*thing so much, have sex everyday (it's healthy for you and your spouse, PUT OUT!)... there's so many. For now that's all my first official post is complete. Take a minute today and give yourself 5 REALISTIC goals for 2014.  Put them on your fridge, dresser, bathroom mirror, somewhere you will see it every day. It will help you accomplish your resolutions. Cheers to the New Year! Happy 2014! <3 xo J